Toilet Learning

Toilet learning is an exciting step in children’s development and is one to be celebrated. Learning to use the toilet is best begun at home, then when you think your child is ready to start at child care I’ll support that process here.

Toilet Learning vs Potty Training

"Toilet learning" is different from "potty training." Old-fashioned potty training is something done to children and may make them feel bad about accidents. Children take an active part in toilet learning, which helps them feel good about using the toilet.

Toilet learning is just one part of how children build independence in our preschool program.

During toilet learning, children begin to:

• Listen to their bodies so they know when they need to use the toilet.
• Communicate this need to others before it's too late.
• Manage their own clothing independently.

Effective toilet learning begins when the child shows signs of readiness. Children who are ready are often happy and proud to use the toilet.

Toileting is Complicated

Recognizing the need to use the toilet, communicating that need, and "holding it" long enough are all complicated steps that take time to learn Just as children fall down many times as they learn to walk, they often have many accidents while learning to use the toilet. My goal is for toilet learning to be a relaxed and positive experience for everyone involved, especially the children.

When to Start Toilet Learning

Many families look forward to starting toilet learning as soon as possible, however, there is no "right" age to start. Toilet learning is as individual to a child as learning to walk; children show interest at different times, but most are ready sometime between their second and third birthdays.

The best way to maximize success and minimize frustration with toilet learning is to make sure your child is truly ready before starting. Your child may be ready if they:

• Can pull pants down and up independently.
• Tells you before, during or after eliminating in the diaper.
• Has predictable bowel movements on a regular basis.
• Doesn't like to wear a dirty diaper.
• Stays dry for two hours at a time.
• Shows interest in sitting on the potty.
• Is able to follow simple instructions, such as a request to sit down.
• Can wash their hands independently.
• Wants to wear underwear.

Not every sign needs to be there to start toilet learning. If you notice a few signs your child may be ready, but don't start during a stressful time or period of change in the family (moving, a new baby, etc).

If you're not sure that your child is ready it's probably better to wait a little longer; challenges often come up when readiness cues are missed.

Getting Ready to Start Toilet Learning

You can prepare your child for toilet learning by:

• Having your child pull their pants down and up at diaper changes. Mastering this step is an important part of using the potty independently.
• Changing diapers in the bathroom to help your child learn that the bathroom is the place to do "potty business."
• Emptying dirty diapers into the toilet to show "where poopy goes." Some children are afraid of the flushing sound; allowing your child to flush may help them get used to the sound.
• Having your child wash hands with soap and running water after diaper changes. It's never too early to teach this healthy habit!

Expect your child to start using "potty words." This is appropriate since the skill being worked on revolves around the potty. Teach your child which words you prefer to hear and set aside a specific location - like the bathroom - where your child can use potty words as much as they want.

Toilet Learning Begins at Home

You are your child's first and most important toilet learning helper. When your child seems ready, toilet learning needs to be worked on consistently. Starting and stopping may confuse your child, while consistency helps your child find success sooner.

Decide whether a potty seat or potty chair will work better for your child. Due to licensing regulations we use a potty seat on the toilet, so your child may be more comfortable starting on a potty seat at home too. A sturdy stool will help them feel more secure and promote independent toileting.

Some parents have their child straddle the toilet backwards without a potty seat. Some children feel more secure sitting this way, and it’s a helpful technique when a potty seat isn’t available.

Once you've decided on a seat, invite your child to sit on it throughout the day, especially whenever you see signs of "needing to go". Just a few minutes will help get the idea across.

Modeling bathroom behavior is also very effective (yes, this means letting your child watch), particularly when a same-gender parent models toilet use.

Avoid Power Struggles over Toilet Learning

Young children need to feel a sense of control and power in their lives, and toileting is one area where they're in complete control. Parents don't win fights with a child over the child's body, so it's better to avoid the fight altogether.

Instead of "Do you want to go potty?" try "It’s time to sit on the potty." Asking gives your child a chance to object, while "sit on the potty" sounds less scary than "going potty." Never force your child to sit on the toilet; not only could this start a fight, your child may become afraid of the whole process.

A kitchen timer can prevent power struggles because the timer, not the parent, indicates when it's time to sit on the toilet and children can't argue with an inanimate object that won't argue back. If your child strongly objects, graciously give in and re-set the timer. If your child continuously objects to sitting on the toilet they may not be ready, and you're better off trying again in a couple of weeks.

Dress for Toilet Learning Success

Avoid the use of disposable diapers during the day; your child has been using them for a long time and may not understand why it’s time to stop. Disposable pull-ups work well during the first week when your child is learning to "hold it," but can delay toilet learning if your child considers them the same as diapers.

Thick cloth training pants are preferred after the initial week. Cloth allows your child to feel wetness. Some cloth training pants have a waterproof layer built in, otherwise old-fashioned plastic pants can be used to protect furniture and carpeting.

Disposable diapers or pull-ups may be needed for naps and at night at first, but try getting your child up to use the bathroom for a few nights before resorting to pull-ups. It's harder to break the habit of urinating in a pull up than it is to avoid the habit in the first place.

Dress your child in loose clothing that they are able to manage easily and independently; pants or shorts with all-elastic waists are the best choices. Overalls, tights, jeans with snaps and zippers, shirts with snaps between the legs, belts, tie waistbands, and tight-fitting clothing should be avoided. Dresses may also be a problem if your child can’t see to pull down underwear.

Teach Proper Toilet Etiquette

• Children need to practice wiping themselves right away.
• Be sure to teach girls to wipe from front to back after bowel movements to avoid urinary tract infections.
• Boys need to be taught to hold their penis down when sitting, and how to aim when standing.
• Flushing the toilet and washing hands with soap and water before leaving the bathroom are good habits to instill right from the start.

Patience is a Virtue

Expect accidents, especially during the early phases of toilet learning. Remember that learning to use the toilet is a skill that needs practice, just like learning to walk. You wouldn't be upset at your child for falling down when learning to walk, so try not to be upset by the inevitable toileting accident.

It's natural for parents to be excited when their child approaches the major milestone of giving up diapers, but be careful not to push too fast. Remember to go at your child's pace and give lots of encouragement and praise to reinforce success.

Toilet Learning at Child Care

After your child has shown significant progress at home it's time to start at child care! We'll know your child is ready when they:

• Consistently stays dry for at least two hours at a time.
• Is dry after nap.
• Is willing to interrupt play to use the toilet.
• Uses words to communicate a need to use the toilet.
• Is able to "hold it" until they're sitting on the toilet.
• Can wipe adequately and independently.
• Pulls underwear and pants up and down independently.

Children are often more successful at home at first. In a group setting, play can be so engaging that children may not recognize the need to "go" until it’s too late. It’s important for your child to be comfortable using the potty at home before starting here.

This transition becomes easier as children settle into our daily routine.

Dress for Child Care Toileting Success

Children should stay dry in cloth underwear for at least a week at home before wearing underwear to child care. If your child still has occasional accidents, plastic pants should be worn to keep the environment clean and sanitary. Children learning to use the toilet need three complete sets of clothes, including socks, and an extra pair of shoes every day.

If your child has an accident they will be changed immediately and their hands washed afterward. Wet and/or soiled items will be put in a plastic bag for you to take home and launder. Licensing rules prohibit me from rinsing out soiled clothes.

Child Care Toilet Learning Procedures

Around two years old children are encouraged to pull their pants down and up at diaper changes.

Children learning to use the toilet are encouraged to try at the same times as the older children and at regularly scheduled intervals. These intervals are based on each child’s individual needs and your experience at home.

In the bathroom children are allowed to go through the whole process independently, including wiping themselves. I monitor them discreetly and offer assistance as needed.

Children who strongly object to sitting on the potty will be asked if they want to try again in two or five minutes, and the timer reset accordingly. If a child consistently shows no interest, objects, is fearful, or has many accidents, toilet learning will be put on hold until we decide together that the child is ready to try again.

As the children master toileting they will naturally need less help and will be able to go on their own. The ultimate goal is independent toileting.

Daily Toileting Routine

All children are encouraged to use the toilet after breakfast, before going outside, after lunch, and after snack.

Once children have mastered toileting they don't need to ask permission or tell me that they are going. At this point, children are expected to complete the whole process, including wiping themselves, independently.

All children will wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, whether they used the toilet or not.